In BDSM a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or the dominant.They assume their subordinate role in private and enjoy the fantasy of having no personal authority and being controlled and dominated with their agreement and collusion.
Submission needs the personal ego of the sub is set aside so that their primary concern is always praising, worshipping and servicing the individual that represents their superior in every way. The main purpose of the sub is to do precisely what he or she is told to do by a dominant, whether it’s online or in person.
There could be tasks to be performed by the submissive outside of the controlled and controlling environment of their BDSM relationship that enhance the connection.The dominant can give the submissive permission to break his or her daily routines by acting in counter-intuitive ways in front of friends, family and work colleagues. The dominant must be kept in mind at all times if this happens.
Subs dream of a reward for their successful service but they usually find that a harsh penalty for their failure to impress can be equally significant and just as pleasurable for them.
It seemed clear that only way to overcome this rejection was to try BDSM dating only and connect with someone based on sexual tastes instead. A place where there would be no moral judgement or unrealistic expectations. He did just that and he had to think of a kinky nickname that reflected his dominant desires. The irony was, that he actually had no experience apart from watching kinky videos and listening to my stories.
Online BDSM Dating Read More »
Ode to the Original Mr Grey I’ve always believed that the success of the Fifty Shades of Grey books can be attributed to
Ode to the Original Mr Grey Read More »
When I came across the acronym CFNM on Twitter recently associated with Femdom (Female Domination), I was instantly curious to find out what
CFNM vs CMNF (Femdom) Read More »
Fifty Shades of Grey is trending again and it feels as though it never went away. The truth is, it’s always there now,
Fifty Shades of Grey: You’ve read the book, seen the trailer, now what? Read More »
Cyberslave is a short film that tells the story of a struggling dominatrix and her relationship with Slave X. It explores the dynamics
Cyberslave: My New Short Film Read More »
Orgasm denial is the best way to deal with rebellious slaves. For those who want to take denial beyond willpower alone, a chastity
The Power of Orgasm Denial Read More »
Introducing a little BDSM into your relationship can be a really great way to intensify things, learn your limits and become closer to
A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Read More »
It was just recently that a good friend made an observation about my fetish for blindfolds. “It seems as though the main reason
blindfold Fantasies Read More »
In case you hadn’t realised, Planet Venus is back. It may seem perverse for me to be away from my regular writing responsibilities
50 shades of Venus Read More »
Feminism has got a bad name over the years for a variety of reasons. Mostly, in our hypersexual culture of eroticised imagery, it
Feminism Vs Femdom Read More »
BDSM is a perfect festive treat for the Christmas holidays. That’s fine if you know what you’re doing. You might be new to
BDSM for Beginners – Terminology Read More »
Being a good slave is not easy. Even the best ones slip up sometimes and make mistakes – sometimes intentionally. For the first
How To Be A Good Slave Read More »
In BDSM, financial domination is a situation where a female dominant has complete control over the disposable income of Her submissive slave. For
The Myth of Financial Domination Read More »
Many fetishists think that lace blindfolds are a bit pointless. After all, a blindfold should restrict vision and deprive the wearer of vital
Black Lace Blindfold Read More »
A hood can be worn and exploited by both dominants and submissives. I’d wanted to explore the idea of a hood fetish photo-set
Exploring Hood Fetish Read More »
Suspension bondage appeals to fetishists because it makes the person being suspended seem more vulnerable if they are unable and unwilling to escape
Cleaning can be the most valuable of slave duties that can be given out as a punishment. It can be repetitive and demeaning
Slave Duties for Rebellious Subs Read More »
Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch is my favourite book. An influential lover gave it to me as an instruction manual, to
Venus in Furs – My Favourite Book Read More »
In this era of 24/7 social networking, anyone can call themselves a writer because their words can be published online whenever they feel
My First Book: Love Me Like You Hate Me – Venus O’Hara Read More »
In BDSM a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or
Types of Submission – Venus O’Hara Read More »
I recently made my acting debut in the acclaimed short film “Love Me Like You Hate Me”, written and directed by Erika Lust,
Love Me Like You Hate Me – Teaser Read More »
When an exotic creature is kept imprisoned behind bars it is the interested spectators inability to look away from it that determines the
Behind Bars – Cage Fetish Read More »
Pain has always been a part of accepted behaviour in conventional sexual relationships. The loss of control that defines the act itself anticipates
No Pain, No Gain (BDSM) Read More »
